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The 7 Stages of Breakups

1. Shock "Do I really have to start over?"

If you're anything like me, the shock is more of a defense. For me, shock often comes with an obnoxious "I don't need anyone except myself" mentality. Truth be told, this fades fairly quickly and, before you know it, you're at phase two.

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2. Denial "Nah, that was a joke. I give it a week until we're back together."

Denial prolongs healing. To be honest, this can last anywhere from a week to a lifetime. Make it as short as possible by avoiding texting, calling or Facebook stalking. The invention of social media and cell phones has undoubtedly made this step the worst. Just stop.

3. Isolation "I'm going to sit on my couch with my cat and watch movies."

Seriously, don't. I love a good cat or puppy snuggle as much as the next person, but you need to get out. Isolation leads to too much thought, which leads to you thinking of the exact moment your relationship fell apart. Common symptoms of this phase include wishing you had the ability to play the guitar and/or piano while singing your feelings loudly and binge drinking.

4. Anger "YOU'RE THE WORST PERSON ALIVE AND YOU NEVER MEANT ANYTHING TO ME."

Yes, they did or you wouldn't be angry. Be the bigger person. Tell your mom, but other than that, convincing others that the person who broke your heart is horrible isn't going to go very far because, odds are, they aren't horrible. They just weren't the person you we're supposed to spend the rest of your life with.

5. The Chase "How can I get this person back?"

My suggestion during this phase is to ask for forgiveness for the things you did to hurt the other person in the breakup process (which you probably did without thinking). Hitting the gym to lose that extra five pounds or showing up at a bar with arm candy isn't going to make him fall madly in love with you again. In fact, more times than not, it's going to do the opposite.

6. Depression "Watching romantic comedies while yelling: "I'LL NEVER HAVE THAT!"

Okay, most of the people in the movie don't have that. Chill out. I'm not completely insensitive to this stage given that I battle emotional demons on a regular basis. With real love, you will realize you lost the person and it'll hurt. You'll want to listen to sappy love songs and you'll think you'll never love again. You will love again and it will be fabulous; just like you.

7. Acceptance -"He's amazing and someone will be very lucky to have him. He just wasn't the person for me."

You're so right. He'll find someone who is better for him and you'll be lucky to find whoever you do. Life has a funny way of working out that way.

At the end of the day, that one person doesn't mean your life is amazing and it doesn't mean your life is a mess if they aren't there for you. Someone would love to have your bad days.

Posted in Other Home Post Date 07/04/2016


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